You Have To Say Goodbye Before You Say Hello

Imagine attending a wedding. You are there to celebrate the love between the bride and groom. You bought the gift. You’re looking forward to the cake and punch. You’re hoping for mixed nuts – you love mixed nuts, which you won’t buy because they’re too salty, but you will eat them freely at a reception with no guilt. And maybe those buttery mints that melt in your mouth. You got all dressed up. The sanctuary is adorned with flowers. There is excitement in the air. Everything goes off without a hitch. Even the pastor isn’t too dull in his homily. Now, it’s time for the vows – a hush takes over as sacred words are about to be affirmed. The pastor moves through the traditional words that vow faithfulness and fidelity no matter what may come. He asks for an “I do” from the groom. There is a pause. The groom shuffles a bit, looks around, looks at his bride, at his parents, and then at the pastor. Instead of “I do,” he has a few questions.

“Exactly what do you mean by fidelity? I’m only human, you know. What if we’re in a rocky period, or she’s in a twenty year coma or something – I have needs that need to be met. And how about faithfulness – when is it okay to say I’ve had enough. I’m definitely interested in marriage, but could you clarify the terms for me?”

If that really happened, the bride would hopefully run away. The groomsmen would hopefully give the groom an unforgettable wedgie. And you’d hopefully still get to enjoy the mixed nuts.

This sort of transaction happens all the time, however, in the life of faith.

The Proposal  Matthew was a tax collector. He was rich, and not because God rewarded him for his honesty. Most people knew – but could not prove – that he was ripping off everybody he could, and with legal authority. He lived in Brown’s Valley. His camel was an Audi, which is the new BMW, which was the new Mercedes before that. His kids went to private school. He enjoyed regular mani’s and pedi’s. Most honorable people couldn’t stand him, which was no big deal, because none of the other rich people with whom he partied were honorable, either. His friends were fellow cheats and thieves, staying just above the law to work the system. By all appearances, most people would think he had it all, and, even though they hated him, they also secretly envied his lifestyle. Appearances can be misleading, however.

The only reason we know that his riches weren’t satisfying was because of what happened when he met Jesus (Matthew 9:9-13). Jesus was doing his thing around the edges of the Sea of Galilee when he came upon Matthew, sitting at his tax booth where he collected customs taxes.

“Follow me and be my disciple,” Jesus called.

Matthew got up and followed.

If his life was complete, Matthew would have laughed and just sat there. But it wasn’t, and he didn’t. In fact, in order to follow Jesus, it meant that he had to stop being an unethical tax collector. He had to say goodbye to the cheating, dishonesty, hording, excesses, and self-centeredness if he was going to say hello to Jesus’ invitation.

Goodbye Before Hello  Matthew’s story is not a proof-text for having to get our lives right before we embrace Jesus. That’s just silly. But it is a great example of the truth that if we want all that Jesus offers, we have to let some things go – we have to make changes. We have to say goodbye to some attitudes and behaviors before we can say hello to those Jesus has to replace them. There are things in Matthew’s life that were incongruent with the life Jesus was offering. Jesus was proposing, and he was asking for fidelity.

In order to experience all God has for you throughout all of your life and every aspect of your life requires that we hear the invitation for every facet of our life, saying goodbye to that which is incongruent with Christ in favor of that which is aligned.

This is not rocket science.

If you want to be physically healthy, you need to say goodbye to a poor diet and lethargy and hello to healthier eating habits and a more active lifestyle. This is a biblical idea, by the way – taking care of the temple (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).

If you want a healthy marriage, you need to say goodbye to self-serving roles and hello to selfless, mutual submission noted in Ephesians 5:21.

If you want to experience emotional maturity, you have to say goodbye to elementary and adolescent ideologies and say hello to mature ways of understanding love (1 Corinthians 13:11).

If you want to experience more than a silo relationship with God, you’ve got to say goodbye to not growing your faith, and say hello to working out the salvation you’ve been afforded (Philippians 2:12).

If you want a more bold faith, then you need to say goodbye to the fear and timidity which is not of God and say hello to the power, love, and self-discipline which is of God (2 Timothy 1:7).

If you want to feel good about how you are managing your finances, you need to say goodbye to our Western “me” mindset, and hello to an ancient, God-centered mindset that keeps the Kingdom of God central in budgeting (Micah 3:6-12; Matthew 6:31-33).

If you want to be free of hatred and the destruction is brings, you have to say goodbye to being judgmental, and hello to forgiveness and grace (Matthew 7:1-5; 18:21-35).

If you want to be fed spiritually, you have to say goodbye to the “sit and soak” method so common in the West, and say hello to being Jesus to those in your path. You will find your spiritual hunger satisfied (John 4:34).

Ask the Question  If we’ve never asked the question about what we need to say goodbye to in order to say hello to Jesus and the life he brings, it probably means we’ve got some discrepancies to deal with. If we’ve never asked the question, we have very likely compartmentalized God to such a small portion of ourselves that the Almighty is rendered powerless in our lives.

When Matthew was approached by Jesus, he knew that many questions were being asked in that one invitation. It all boiled down to one ultimate question: are we all in for Jesus? Are we willing to make Christ the central motivation and purpose for our lives? Do we trust him enough to say goodbye to lesser things and hello to the life we’ve been created to live?

Matthew’s first response after saying yes was to throw a party, inviting all of his friends, so that he could let them know of his new direction, and honor the one who gave it to him. Implicitly, he invited his friends to consider Christ, too. How are you inviting others to consider Christ?

Think…

1. What would you think if you went to a wedding ceremony like the one described above? What would you think about the groom’s level of maturity? How do you suppose the bride would feel?
2. Matthew appeared to have it. What do you think he was lacking? Is it possible to know of our emptiness before we pursue every other thing? In other words, do we have to learn the hard way?
3. What concerns do you suppose went through Matthew’s mind when he heard the invitation from Jesus to be his disciple? What hopeful expectations do you think went through his mind?
4. Matthew said yes. Would you? Why or why not? What would go into your decision?
5. Because God wants us to experience the best life has to offer, God wants to bring every aspect of our lives into alignment with him and his ways. What aspects of your life have you already considered – where have you already said goodbye to a former way and hello to Christ’s? What was your experience? What aspects of your life do you sense God calling you to examine now? What are your next steps?
6. Matthew threw a party to celebrate his new life direction, which automatically clued in his friends and implicitly invited them to do the same. How are you celebrating the new life you have in Christ is ways that inform others? How are you inviting people into the invitation dialogue with Christ? How are you being Jesus to those in your path?

May you experience the love of God, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God! – Ephesians 3:19