Proper Etiquette

In the ancient past and today, one of the last things you might expect to hear from Jesus is his take on proper etiquette. In Luke 14:1, 7-14, however, he does just that…

Just in case you might be going to a fancy banquet, listen closely: don’t sit at the head table. If you do, and you weren’t supposed to, you’re going to resemble an idiot when the host of the party escorts you to the table closest to the kitchen. Choose to sit near the kitchen – that way, when the host sees you, there’s a chance he or she might invite you to sit at a better table. Then everybody will think you’re awesome!

Just in case you might throw a fancy banquet, listen closely again: don’t just invite people you want to suck up to for social networking purposes that may later turn profitable. Invite some losers as well. Nobody knows why, but Jesus said so, so get them on the list.

Why would God-made-flesh waste his time on such trivialities?

Unfortunately, one reason is plain and simple: the human condition was the same back in Jesus’ day as it is now. Statistically, people are overflowing with self-importance and aggressively keep themselves at the center of the universe. It’s all about them, after all. So, they naturally assume they are guests of honor and take the good seats. And, they invite only people who will help them advance without any thought for those they consider losers. If you resemble this kind of self-absorbed person (who, me?), then take heed of Jesus’ words.

But there is a much deeper undercurrent here.

Sigmund Freud promoted the idea that human beings are ultimately driven in life by the pursuit and attainment of pleasure. Freud was famous for suggesting that the pleasure being sought was often sexual in nature. His assertion makes some sense. A whole lot of people make decisions about their daily and long-term life based on whether or not it will make them happy – give them pleasure. And there are a whole lot of people who have discovered that sex sells products. But the Jewish Freud moved to London just as Nazism was beginning its dominant rampage. While he certainly experienced struggle, and eventually died from cancer brought on by his pleasurable 20-cigars-per-day habit, he drew his last breath before many of Hitler’s horrors took place.

Victor Frankl, however, experienced firsthand the sting of genocide as he watched loved ones die in concentration camps while he was there himself. Like Freud, he was Jewish, and one of the leading thinkers in the fairly new field of psychology. While in the concentration camps, he journaled about what he saw as people committed suicide as they experienced the inhumanity of the Third Reich. Others did not consider suicide. Was it because they were able to find enough pleasure to sustain them?

Frankl submitted that the fundamental drive in life is not pleasure, but rather the search for meaning and purpose. If a person sensed that they were part of something greater than themselves, they could make it through just about anything. In fact, suffering itself was an indicator that they were part of something “more grand” than just their individual lives.

I think he was on to something.

In antiquity, the elite religious leaders famously promoted themselves and enjoyed the many pleasures they could afford. There was no grand story except the story of their own escalation in society. Being caricaturized as being driven so, they showed neglect and contempt for people they deemed as losers: the poor, the crippled, the lame, and the blind – all lumped together in the lowest social class of the day. They had no reason to consider them – what was in it for them? How would caring for them give them pleasure? This is a pretty cold worldview, and those who held it couldn’t see it.

The thing is, we don’t really realize how pervasive are our ideologies, how strong our root motives are until we can no longer hide them.

We’re living in a time when the ability to seek pleasure in myriad forms has been made more difficult. The economy stinks, which leads to stress, which leads to shaky relationships and jobs, which rob us of pleasure. I think a lot of people are struggling with misery because they are not as able as they once were to satisfy their every desire. Their life’s driving force isn’t delivering as it once did.

Maybe it’s time to consider a different, better drive for life.

There is a bigger story at work, and we are invited to play a role. God has been developing the story since day one, and the story is unfolding with our every decision. The story is the redemption of humanity – the healing of individuals, families, communities and even nations. Being part of this epic adventure requires risk, personal sacrifice, and losing some of the personal-pleasure-goals that are really not in this story. But God’s Story is better than any person’s individual story, and offers joy and strength that defy circumstances. Jesus came to share that story, to play his redemptive role in that story, and invite you to follow in his footsteps toward the greatest story of all time. A story where all humans are treated humanely. A story that honors all that is good. A story that at times chooses suffering but is not defined by it.

A story where proper etiquette is displayed.

Will you become a part of this story?

Think...
What drives your life: personal pleasure or meaning and purpose?
What in your life validates the fact that both motives above are actually in tension in your life?
Does choosing the more noble drive for living mean there can be no more pursuit of things that bring personal pleasure?
What do you need to do differently in response to Jesus’ teaching on proper etiquette?

Love Story: Surprise Healing

If you’re looking for a refreshing read that touches on spirituality, personal development, and meaning in life, read Don Miller’s book, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years. But don’t read it if you’re churchy – it’ll tick you off.

In his book, Miller raises an interesting idea: what if a movie was made of your life? Would it be any good? Would anybody go?

As Miller ruminated on such questions while taking us through various stories of his life, a reality began to hit him: his life was pretty boring. Blah. Lots of television viewing interspersed with moments of eating, sleeping, and buying stuff. All of which defined him somehow, as our habits and stories ultimately define us.

There was a woman who lived long ago in a small town in Israel (Luke 13:10-17). We’re not totally sure what happened, but she suffered from some sort of malady that kept her bent over in pain for eighteen years. They credited evil spirits, like they did with most physical ailments in their day – they didn’t know what we know about the human body – so they lived in a world where suffering was the wrath of God or the torment of Satan.

It just so happened that Jesus was teaching in the local synagogue. Whether she made it a point to seek help from the healer or dumb luck, she received a surprise that day. Jesus told her, in the middle of his teaching, that she was healed. Then, to help her and onlookers believe that the healing was coming through him, he touched her. Immediately she stood upright, after which she danced all day and all night in joy (probably).

The guy in charge of the synagogue no doubt knew of Jesus’ healing powers as well his gift for teaching. When the woman was healed, the leader got uptight. We’re not totally sure what was going on in his head, but he put his foot in his mouth, illuminating his core beliefs: no healing today – it’s the Sabbath – come back later.

Side note: if you are looking for a way to tick Jesus off, restrict the love of God from somebody – it’s a sure-fire way to get rebuked. Jesus ripped the guy a new one (and by that I mean, of course, he provided for the man a new theological insight…).

While it’s always fun to join Jesus in picking on legalistic leadership, there is a deeper concern that we must face. The synagogue leader needed healing as much as the crippled woman. He was as bent over in his living as she was. Unlike the woman, however, he was not aware of his need. A truth about human living: we get so comfortable with our respective infirmities that we eventually call it normal, and even healthy as we adjust our lives to assimilate our disease.

So, if we can name that which ails us, then we need to consider whether or not we are courageous enough – as the woman in the story was – to come into the presence of the Healer who longs to heal. And then, be willing to follow the Healer’s lead and prescription. Sometimes what we think needs healing doesn’t get healed – but that doesn’t mean God is uninvolved. The Apostle Paul prayed and prayed for the “thorn in his side” to be removed, but it never was. And yet, God gave healing and wholeness in unexpected ways, teaching Paul things about the limits of physical life and the unlimited power and presence of God.

For everybody else, we need to constantly be seeking healing from God. We need to ask God for help to recognize where we are in need of greater health. And then we need to pursue Jesus just as the woman. If you are drawing a blank on this, here are some key areas I believe just about everybody struggles in our cultural context: emotional maturity, anger management, relational depth, greed, sloth, lust, grace, self-esteem, and loving fully.

May you who resonate with the woman have the boldness to approach Jesus for his touch even if others deem it inappropriate. May you who resemble the synagogue leader have eyes to see yourself clearly, recognize your need, and follow in the woman’s footsteps to Jesus’ feet, where healing, wholeness, and life at its best reside.