012212 Fearless 3: Fear of Disappointing God

We are strange creatures.  While talk shows on the radio, TV, and Internet are devoted to lambasting whoever their target might be for the day, I think we generally do not like having the mirror held in front of our faces.  Can we dish it out but not take it?

When it comes to our faith, I think this is also true.  From the beginning, humanity has not been fond of being told what to do, and typically changes course only when it no longer has any other choice.  You can find this phenomenon in the Bible.  Starting in Genesis.  Extending through Revelation.

The reality is, however, that this tendency is lethal.  Our desire to do our own thing restricts us from experiencing life at its best (as  modeled and taught by Jesus), and sets us up for an estranged relationship with God because we realize that all of our waywardness is a departure from that which God would have us live.  Technical word here: sin.  When we come to grips with our junk, we begin to really wonder if God would take us back.  We wonder about this because if we were repeatedly offended by someone we cared about deeply, at some point we might stop welcoming them back, right?

Does God really forgive and forget?  Or should we fear God?

Now watch Nooma: Lump.

When we really come to grips with our very human tendency to go our own way, its painful.  At that moment, we realize that we have caused ourselves great pain, have hurt people we care about and care about us, have caused harm even to people we don't know, and have messed with the good work God is doing in the world, which means we've kicked over God's sandcastle.

Usually, we avoid this realization by thinking of all the bad things other people do which we consider to be far more offensive than our own choices.  In a recent episode of The Middle, the mom, Frankie, begins using the neighbor's brand new car without permission for days.  The entire family starts enjoying it.  Frankie deals with her guilt by saying, "people do meth."  In other words, her sin hardly counts for anything in a world where people do far worse.  Thank God for terrorists, then, huh - we'll always look good if they are in the picture...

We minimize our grievances.  Sexual and material lust.  Bitterness.  Over indulgence.  Unforgiveness.  Apathy.  Lethargy.  Sloth.  Immaturity.  Gossip.  Sloppy language.  White lies.  Bad attitude.  Critical spirit.  But enough about me...  What do you struggle with?

The truth is all of the above are ours to own.  And all of them - even the ones we think are so private, so benign - cause harm to ourselves, to others, and mess with the god God is doing in the world.  We need to sit with this for awhile and let it sink in.  This may require turning off the TV and computer and smart phone and... so that you can be still long enough to feel the sting.

I really think we are condemning ourselves to repeating all the stuff over and over until we wake up to the reality of where we are.

The beautiful thing about waking up is that your eyes are open.  You are less likely to stub your toe or crash into things because you are seeing again.  As we begin making amends with the people we've wounded, most of the time we will find forgiveness and grace.  Sometimes we have caused so much pain, burned the bridge so thoroughly, that the most we can do is apologize - to push for their forgiveness may cause more harm than good - it becomes, again, about us instead of them.  And when we finally get around to considering God's take on things, we discover a beautiful truth.

No matter what, God forgives and supports you in your restoration.  No matter what.  God was making this clear before Jesus, and Jesus' life and teaching simply gave it a face and hands and feet.  

Opening ourselves up to the grace of God is the most powerful move we can make.  It was (and is) for me.  I find peace in God.  I find strength to own my own junk with God.  I find power to move forward in health with God.  I find new insight and direction with God.  I find it easier to forgive others with God.  I find my true self with God.  I find life with God.  I find hope with God.  I find love that doesn't evaporate with God.

Read up on Jesus' disciple, Peter.  He knew this reality all too well.  He completely rejected Jesus, and then found grace, and then went on to become one of the most key leaders in the history of the movement.

May you come to grips with your junk, your sin.  May you sit in it's stench long enough to make you wanna puke.  May you then turn to God and ask for grace and mercy and strength to move forward.  May you seek restoration where you have caused destruction.  May you find your true self with God and begin to live to your beautiful potential.  May you help others do the same.

Extra Credit.  You may find Psalm 51 particularly cathartic.  This was a poem written by King David after he got busted for adultery.  Read it slowly.  See if his words can become yours.  Let me know what happens.

011512 Fearless 2: The Fear of Not Mattering

If you have never watched it, go on YouTube and check our Dr. Suess' The Sneetches.  The gist of the story?  We make up all sorts of rules to determine who is in and who is out, who matters and who does not.

Do we matter?  We fear we don’t.  We fear nothingness, insignificance.  We fear evaporation. - Max Lucado, Fearless, Chapter 2

When we feel like we don't matter, we do silly things.  Guys act more manly, spend crazy amounts of time to make a little more money to buy more stuff, drive the right car, live in the right house, get the promotion, etc., in an effort to proclaim to the world that he exists and should be noticed and respected.  Women may do similar things, and are culturally encouraged to be just a little sexier looking, acting and behaving to get noticed and respected.  Some women have found themselves in a fearful position of not being adored by a guy, and give themselves away to keep his interest, only to have it backfire and feel worse about herself.

Others make sure they wear the right labels, make the right friends, ignore the losers, and attend the right gatherings.  All in an effort to feel like they matter.  We don't want life to be for naught...

Connect to someone special and become someone special, right?  - Max Lucado, Fearless, Chapter 2

Sometimes we add value to our personal stock by association.  We drop impressive names here and there to impress people.  Since we know somebody, it means we're kind of a big deal, right?

I fell into this experience several years ago.  One day I opened a church-trade magazine to see a familiar face: Rob Bell.  The article introduced Rob and his ministry which he just left.  He was the founding and Senior Pastor of Mars Hill Bible Church in Grand Rapids, MI, a church where many thousands gather every week.  Rob is also known for his 24 Nooma videos, his speaking tours, and his provocative writing.  When I read the article, I was kind of giddy, because Rob is an old high school friend of mine.  After I read the article, I gave him a call and we caught up.

When colleagues would mention his films, I would say, "Hey, guess what?  He is an old friend of mine!"  It was just fun that an old friend was doing cool stuff.  But then I noticed that this connection got more response than I expected.  I got treated differently simply because I am an old friend of Rob's.  For awhile, I must admit, I kind of enjoyed it.

But then you realize that whatever extra stock value you might get from an association really is only because of it, and not you, and that's wonderfully sobering.  This actually led me to think about related stuff in my life.  My dad was a leader, and being the son of a leader around those he lead meant I got treated different.  I could ride on his coat-tails a bit.

Eventually, any time someone made the connection, I would start to make light of it.  Just a month ago, I was in a pastor's meeting and someone started talking about Rob, and one of my buddies referenced me as an old friend of Rob's.  The truth is, while I love Rob's work, and we have corresponded some, we aren't tight.  I am thrilled for him, and glad for our past.  But his life and success are in no way tied to me.  I now try to make it a point that while I am sure he knows my name, I am also sure I am much more familiar with his face than he is mine.

We eventually get to a place in our lives when we start wondering what it's all worth, what's the point of it all, and what am I worth?  Not getting an answer leads to great despair, terrible pain which demands to be addressed.  If it goes unanswered, we medicate one way or another, but the pain is still there.  Some fill the prescription with addiction to substance which leads to a range of awful consequences.  Others fill the pain with more socially acceptable meds: affluence, materialism, fame, sexuality, appearances, which can also lead to a very hollow experience of life.  Once in motion, it's hard to pull out of the swirling, chaotic funnel we find ourselves in.

The fear that you are one big zero will become a self-fulfilling prophecy that will ruin your life.

- Max Lucado, Fearless, Chapter 2

It turns out Jesus had some things to say about this.

What is the price of five sparrows—two copper coins? Yet God does not forget a single one of them. And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows. – Jesus in Luke 12:7 (NLT)

But it wasn't just talk with Jesus.  Socially, he knew his value in God's eyes and it changed his life.  Part of catching God's vision of people's inherent value is making it known, which Jesus did very frequently, dramatically, and effectively.

Jesus was a loser who…

• Spoke to a Samaritan woman: loser
• Ate with tax collectors and sinners: losers
• Forgave an adultress: loser
• Healed lepers: losers
• Healed the blind and lame: losers
• Forgave the priests who killed him: losers
• Disciples: fishermen, artisans, tax collectors: losers

If you feel like a loser, you’re in good company…

…people who – through Jesus – understood that they were precious in God’s sight, of incredible inherent value, worthy of respect, capable of brilliance.

They had real, profound, counterintuitive hope.

They changed the world, and continue to do so.

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. - The Bible, Ephesians 2:10 (NLT)

May you see yourself from God's perspective more today than yesterday, everyday.  May you know you are beautiful, wonderful, capable.  May you discover that you have all the strength you are looking for in the face of God who knows you, loves you, and wants you.

010812 Fearless 1: Why Are We Afraid?

What are people afraid of?  What are you afraid of?  When is fear good?  When is it bad?

Imagine your life wholly untouched by angst.  What if faith, not fear, was your default reaction to threats?  If you could hover a fear magnet over your heart an extract every last shaving of dread, insecurity, and doubt, what would remain?  Envision a day, just one day, absent the dread of failure, rejection, and calamity.  Can you imagine a life with no fear? - Max Lucado, Fearless, Chapter 1

How do you know if fear is (or isn't) overly directing your life?  How does fear shape sometimes shape your life?

Getting on board with Christ can mean getting soaked with Christ.  Disciples can expect rough seas and stout winds.  Max Lucado, Fearless, Chapter 1

How much was "better life" a part of your decision to do life with God?  How does Lucado's insight mess with your understanding of the benefits of following Christ? Is this a deal breaker?

Fear corrodes our confidence in God's goodness.  We begin to wonder if love lives in heaven.  Max Lucado, Fearless, Chapter 1

When have you felt like this?  How does it impact your faith?

The fear-filled life cannot love deeply.  Love is risky.  They cannot give to the poor.  Benevolence has no guarantee of return.  The fear-filled cannot dream wildly.  What if their dreams sputter and fall from the sky?  The worship of safety emasculates greatness.  Max Lucado, Fearless, Chapter 1

From the Bible... Matthew 8:23-27 (NLT)

Then Jesus got into the boat and started across the lake with his disciples.  Suddenly, a fierce storm struck the lake, with waves breaking into the boat. But Jesus was sleeping.   The disciples went and woke him up, shouting, “Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!”

      Jesus responded, “Why are you afraid? You have so little faith!” Then he got up and rebuked the wind and waves, and suddenly there was a great calm.

     The disciples were amazed. “Who is this man?” they asked. “Even the winds and waves obey him!” 

Jesus found the only protected spot in the boat - in the stern where nets were kept.  He was sound asleep while the disciples were freaking out.  When they felt they were hopeless, they finally woke Jesus up, asking for him to do something about their perilous predicament.  

Do you ever do this? Do you ever put off waking God up from his slumber?  Sometimes I think I can handle everything on my own - why bother God with little stuff?  Sometimes I am boldly arrogant, wanting to be in control of my own destiny - what if I don't like how God handles my situation?  Do you ever approach the storms of life like I sometimes do?  In retrospect, how was your quality of life when you were handling everything on your own without bothering God?  Would God's approach have made your life worse?  Do you suppose God gets annoyed with us asking for help when we're facing storms?

From the Bible...  John 8:33 (NLT)

I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me.  Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows.  But take heart, because I have overcome the world.  - Jesus

What difference does Jesus' statement make, really?  What does it mean to have peace in me?

From the Bible...  2 Timothy 1:7 (NLT)

For God has not given us a spirit of fear or timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. - Apostle Paul encouraging Timothy, a young pastor getting beat up by his congregation.

Challenge: memorize one or both of the encouraging statements above - Jesus' or Paul's.  When you next begin to experience fear, recall and recite these statements.  Ask God to help you recognize your fear and ask for God's help facing your fear.