090726 What's Your Story?

Agnostic/Athiest. When I first met Diondra Marchus, I felt very old. She was seventeen. She was one of half a dozen or so young women trying out for the lead role in Napa High’s production of the musical, South Pacific. I was there because I was going to play one of the lead male roles, and the director wanted to look for a good combo. Before the auditions began, the girls were asking me what shows I had done in the past, and what roles I played. I remembered the shows well enough, but I couldn’t remember some of my characters names. I did most of those shows before these young thespians had drawn their first breath. Did I mention that I felt old? I was literally twice Diondra’s age.
Diondra had the world by the tail. She was full of life, confidence, and passion. She was bright, talented, and already lived with social consciousness. What I didn’t know was that she was also a functioning agnostic or maybe even an atheist. She knew I was a pastor. Where might this story go?
I knew that the cast was aware that I was a pastor, and that my behavior was likely to be scrutinized, and that whatever I did, good or bad, was probably going to be reflected on Christianity and Church. Knowing Napa’s culture, I decided to simply “be me”, do my best in the role, and hopefully avoid doing any damage to the work of the Kingdom in spite of myself. Recurring thought: Don’t blow it. Looking back, I’m glad I took this approach. What would have happened if I was a jerk? Would that have negatively affected Diondra’s story as well as others?

Life Happens. The next time I saw Diondra was over a year later. One summer Sunday, she and her mom, Dominee, showed up for worship. Strange thing for an agnostic/atheist to do… Turns out God had been working on Diondra through a range of circumstances and people as her life was unfolding. She had lots of questions. As it turned out, that very week I was taking a group of people to catch Rob Bell’s Everything Is Spiritual tour – pretty convenient timing, huh? Coincidence? Diondra and Dominee joined Lynne and me and a bunch of other CrossWalkers. We had a great dinner, loved the show, and had a great after-burner conversation before heading home. I remember thinking that the timing was uncanny, and that this would have to have a fairly profound impact on anybody who came. And I remember feeling so grateful to be part of the process in some small way – getting to see things happen up close and personal.

Kingdom Centered. Over the next few years I got to watch as God worked in Diondra’s life – through her struggles, through her maturation, through her passion. I got to be in on her process as she faced challenging personal issues, and also as she experienced judgment first-hand from the pain-inflicting ignorance of well-meaning Christians. Helping bring clarity to biblical issues relating to gender and justice was a fun dialogue for both of us, I think.
Her vision for what she was going to do with her life moved from show business to changing the world by ushering in the Ways of God (Kingdom). Her focus today is in realizing that when the Kingdom is the first thing sought, everything else really does fall into place (I guess Jesus knew what he was talking aboutJ). The world is going to change for the better, for the Kingdom, as Diondra moves forward with God in hand. Next stop? Deborah’s House for the next year, serving Tijuana’s women who have no hope because of their extreme poverty – they are easy victims of abusive men and human trafficking. After that? Who knows. But as God continues to shape her, more of the Kingdom is likely to come. What a blast. What a privilege to see it up close and personal.
What you can do. Pray for Diondra – her health, safety, and impact as she serves in a Third World country just across our border. Help her financially by kicking in $30/month toward missions here at CrossWalk.

Think…

1. Who was instrumental in your story? How did they help you come into relationship with God?
2. In whose story are you playing a role? How is your “performance” affecting God’s work in other people’s lives?
3. What challenges are you facing right now? How are you allowing God to use your current trials to shape you for the better instead of making you bitterer?
4. How are you involved in helping other people walk through their struggles in ways that will be redemptive?
5. How is God calling you to serve? What risks are involved? What’s the potential payoff if you choose to take a leap of faith?
6. How are you supporting others in their respective leaps of faith – are you a cheerleader or wet blanket?

May you celebrate every step of the way in your journey with God,
knowing you are loved forever, and your steps are not in vain.

090719 Lose The Box

How many boxes do you think you have in your house? What is the smallest box you’ve got in your house? The largest? What’s your favorite box? How many different kinds of boxes can you think of?

We live in boxes. We use boxes with wheels for transportation. In the boxes where we live, we have all sorts of other boxes that hold our stuff. Some boxes are made to hold lots of smaller boxes. Some boxes are fancy, and are made to hold something precious. Some boxes are very strong, and are meant to support great weight. We have fireproof boxes, refrigerated boxes, locking boxes, boxes that hold valuables in a wall, boxes that look nice enough to display on a shelf, clear boxes, big stackable boxes, a box for a Christmas tree, waterproof boxes, game boxes… We love boxes so much, that when we die, most of us will end up in a box!

David lived in a very impressive box in Jerusalem. It was palatial. One day he realized, however, that the symbol of God’s presence – the Ark of the Covenant – was tent camping – it wasn’t even in an RV! So David thought that it would be a good idea to build a proper box to hold the Ark, where worship could also take place. Making a nice box for God seemed like an honorable thing to do. (2 Samuel 7:1-14)

Even though God gave the nod to the project, God also made something clear to David (and to us): there just isn’t a big enough box for God. The box isn’t for God – the box was for the people. People needed the box, because then they’d know where to find the thing the box was made for – in this case, God.

This is basically what we do with boxes, right? It is our way to organize our stuff. Another word for organizes is manage. Another word for manage is control. Boxes help us control our environment. Some boxes even trick us into thinking that we are in some way controlling even God.

We can leave God in the box called Church. Whenever we need God, we know where to find him. We get to choose when we need him, when we want him. In this way we control, at least we think, God’s influence over our lives. We do the same with traditions, with labels, with causes – all are ways of controlling how much God we want.

But God has never been one to be boxed in.

As much as our boxes serve to organize our thoughts, our expressions, and even our beliefs about God, the boxes eventually meet their limitations. If we’re not aware of this, we’ll reach a point in our life when our growth will absolutely stop. No more room to grow, because the box won’t allow it. The sad reality is that I think this is what God sees more often than not – people focusing on the box, instead of the God who transcends the box.

There are some cool stories where God did cool stuff in the box. But not nearly as many, and not nearly as cool as the stories that were outside of the box. Want to see God in his element? Lose the box. Outside the box is where the wind blows freely, where God can stretch out and do some amazing things. Flip through just the ministry of Jesus and see how much of his ministry was done inside. Little by comparison.

Given the choice of living out your life in the safety and security of a box that would serve to keep God small in your life, with extremely limited impact or losing the box and allowing God to do the really cool stuff in your life – which do you choose? One way of life keeps the wind out. The other is impacted every moment by the wind.

Want to have a life where God shows up daily? Lose the box.
Want to see more miraculous stuff happen in your life? Lose the box.
Want to see God heal broken relationships in your life? Lose the box.
Want to see yourself become healthier in every way? Lose the box.
Want to see God turn the world around? Lose the box.
For God’s sake, lose the box! For everyone’s sake – lose the box!

Think…
1. What kind of boxes help you manage your faith?
2. How have they helped? How have they limited God?
3. How well did Jesus live inside the boxes of his day? How did the owners of those boxes feel about Jesus? Why didn’t they see the limitations of their boxes? Why don’t we?
4. Sometimes we experience pain in our lives along the seams of our boxes where God is trying to break free. Where do you see your seams showing strain right now?

May God reveal to you the God-box you’ve created,

and may God make use of his holy box cutter…

Struggles Make Us Stronger?

I remember when football practice began for high school football. We would have two-a-days for two weeks or so before school got back in session. The first day, the whole team was filled with energy and expectation, ready to take on any challenge, be it a near-pro team like the Raiders, or an actual pro team like the Niners. Day two was a different story. Everyone was in agony as our bodies reacted to the previous day’s workout. The coaches would say over and over again – throughout the season, in fact – no pain, no gain. Is that really true? Beyond football’s grueling preseason workouts, when we face pain in life, does it really work for our gain? Looking back, have the hard times in your life made you stronger or weaker?

Michal had plenty of reasons to be bitter. In the Old Testament 1 Kings 6) is an interesting account about two people, a man and his wife, Michal and King David. The early part of their story is a fairy tale of sorts. Michal , the daughter of King Saul, absolutely loved David and wanted to marry him. King Saul was terribly jealous of David (one of his celebrated military men, among other things). Saul saw the marriage proposal as an opportunity to get David killed. But it didn’t work out that way. David prevailed. In a later attempt on David’s life, Michal helped David escape. After that, Saul gave his married daughter away to another man. Certainly not what she would have chosen. David moved on as well, finding marriage with other women, having children, growing in success. Michal was left behind until David finally demanded her return from her other husband. But it didn’t heal her pain. All of this became painfully obvious when David made a spectacle of himself in bringing the Ark of the Covenant back to Jerusalem. Instead of joining David in his joy, she ridiculed him and insulted him. Not stronger – still weak. Not better – bitter.

Everybody faces pain in life. We all have our reasons to play our personal violin as we recount our sob stories to each other. What song are you playing today?

David had plenty of reasons to be bitter, too. Michal may have been so blinded by David’s success that she failed to recognize his painful past. David’s life was filled with agony. Even though his was anointed to be the next King of Israel after Saul died, he was always in the middle of conflict, often running for his life. His good deeds and strong character were often rewarded with additional pain – no good deed goes unpunished, after all. And yet, in spite of all of his hardship, at that moment in history, he was so filled with joy that he made a fool of himself by human standards. What’s your level of joy currently?

What we do with our struggle makes the difference between a blessed life and a burdensome life, between becoming better or bitter, stronger or weaker.

Michal stayed in her bitterness, and her bitterness remained throughout her life. She chose to stay bitter, and lived in self-created isolation.

David, faced with the option to be bitter, chose a different route, and became better in spite of the reasons to remain bitter.

How did he get better instead of getting bitterer?

He processed it – which meant he wasn’t in denial. He wrote about it, sang about, prayed about it, and incorporated community with it. Check out Psalms 6, 10, 13, & 51 – this guy worked out his struggle with pen and paper. These poems/songs weren’t first drafts – they were carefully crafted – they took time and thought to create, and they helped David work out his pain into gain.

He did what he was good at –he was busy in his strengths – he didn’t simply sit around expecting different results from doing nothing. He went to help bring back the Ark. He also oversaw the sacrifices that were being made.

He kept God at the center of his life – he worshipped boldly. He was so into it that he took off most of his clothes so he could dance with greater freedom!

You have a choice to make regarding your struggle: to become stronger or weaker, better or bitter.

You also have a choice to make regarding those around you who struggle. You now have a resource they do not have. How are you going to love them so that they might also make a healthy choice toward health and growth?

May you have the courage to be honest about your struggle, and look to God for the strength to make the decisions that will lead to the best life possible in spite of your circumstances.

Process Questions…
Is the axiom, struggles make us stronger, a given, or is it a choice? Explain.

When have you struggled and found yourself stronger and healthier a chapter later? When have you struggled and found yourself less healthy than before? What was the difference between the two?

How did Michal respond to her struggles? How did David respond to his struggles? How did David respond to Michal struggles?

What principles from David and Michal can we use to help us through our own struggles? In what specific ways would we act differently if we employed a healthy response to struggles?

What struggles are you facing right now? What are you going to do differently this week to grow stronger through your struggle? What specific behaviors are you going to avoid, and what behaviors are you going to do this week when faced with your struggle?