Many of us will enjoy Thanksgiving dinner and share with each other what we’ve been thankful for this past year. Family, friends, health, jobs, shelter are always on the list for most people. Every now and then one of your religious relatives somehow found out where the dinner was and got himself invited. When his turn comes, everybody knows he’s going to go spiritual. “I’m thankful for the cross that Christ bore and hope you are, too.” Everybody sort of nods uncomfortably, and then rolls their eyes when he looks at the potatoes…
I’ve had many conversations with people who are enamored with Jesus, and are willing to believe and follow him. They like what he stands for, the teaching he gave, and the path he walked that leads toward a relationship with God.
But these same people stumble around a bit when it comes to the cross. They don’t get it. They’re not sure why so much emphasis has been placed on it. They wonder why it’s even necessary to focus on anymore. The idea of a man dying for them doesn’t compute. Things start to sound really religious when the cross enters the conversation. And we all know God doesn’t even like religion.
Is the cross relevant anymore? Or is it just a religious symbol of an ancient people that relate as little to our experience as we do theirs?
A classic song came on the radio the other day by the band Styx: “Babe”. It was a love song, a ballad, about a guy who was moving away, which was breaking his heart because his girl wasn’t coming with him. I remember the first time I heard that song tears came to my eyes because my soul mate was moving away. How could I go on? My heart ached at the thought of her leaving, with little chance that we’d survive. Her name was Anne. Of course, I never shared the fact that she was my soul mate with her. In fact, I never even let on that I liked her – no, loved her! – which was probably a good idea since we were in the fourth grade, and she was way out of my league. The funny thing though is that it felt good to “pretend love” somebody, and I liked the idea that she might actually like me. Fantasies are wonderful places to live, aren’t they?
I think we all long to love and be loved in return (I think I hear Nat King Cole singing Nature Boy…). I think it’s the most core longing we have. I think it’s the greatest meaning we pursue, and the most painful to lose.
Our hearts soar when we feel love – we can do anything. And our world feels empty when we don’t feel loved – we are immobilized in many respects. When love is strong it is the thing that we are most thankful for. And when it’s weak it’s what we yearn for most. How we answer the question, “are we loved?” determines our sense of wellbeing probably more than anything else. More than money, fame, or appearance.
I had a friend who had a strained relationship with his father. One evening, he was driving along and lost control of the car, hitting another car in the process. He panicked and left the scene. He thought maybe he killed somebody. He was driving his dad’s car, which was pretty mangled. He went home where he lived with his parents (he was in high school), grabbed a few things and left. He found a spot behind a convenience store where he scribbled a note. Then he shot himself in the stomach. That wasn’t killing him fast enough (I guess) so he shot himself in the head. He was gone. The note had harsh words for his father, who he assumed would not be able to look past his latest accident. My friend struggled to believe that he was loved enough to overcome his mistakes. That core need was so lacking that it led him to do the unthinkable. His father loved him deeply, but somehow that didn’t get through.
When kids experience their parent’s divorce, they commonly wonder if it was because of them. Or they wonder why one of their parents could have left them behind so easily. Insecurity sets in about whether or not they are loved much, and whether or not they ever will be. Whose love can they trust if they can’t even trust their own parents to love them?
When a person gets cheated on by their significant other, after the anger and sense of being betrayed wears off, they often wonder how someone could do such a thing to them when they said they loved them.
Abused partners question their value and worth because the treatment they are receiving suggests that they are worthy of the abuse, not love.
Parents, if they are human, will not love perfectly, and their children will suffer the consequences. How well we love our kids sets their course probably more than anything else.
For people who seek God, this has to be the primary motivation for their search. We wonder if the one who made everything is still around, and if he or she is, does he or she care at all about us? And if we haven’t exactly lived in such a way that would honor such a God, at what point does God just let us go our own way?
I think that’s why Jesus has so much appeal. He came proclaiming that he and God had a very tight relationship – that they were, in fact, one – and that what we heard and saw in him was the word and behavior of God. It turns out Jesus wasn’t a jerk at all. He was really, really cool. He put mean people in their place, and lifted up demoralized people everywhere he went. He spoke the truth, but he did it with love. Many people changed the direction of their lives after they met him. And he loved people regardless of who they were or what they’d done.
And when mean people got him arrested and killed, he let it go forward, as if there was a point he wanted to make that nobody could miss. Having all the authority and power to get himself out of the mess he was in and hold everyone accountable, he chose to act with grace. He even told a guy who probably actually was guilty of a crime that there was reason to have hope – God loved him more than he realized, and that soon he would be with God forever. In ultimately choosing the cross, God was creating a drama which caused people to wonder what God might do when the best is killed. The answer didn’t change. God loved.
I need that Jesus who will prove his love beyond doubt for anybody and everybody. I need it because every human relationship I am in will have its moments when love is questioned – if only for a moment – but long enough to shake me. I need to know there is a love that will never fade out, or get tired of me, or not put up with my junk anymore and leave, or neglect me, or turn apathetic, or love someone else more which is like not loving me at all. I need that kind of love. And, while there are numerous facets to appreciate about the cross of Christ, its message of love is what I need most of all.
The message of love is what the guy hanging next to him needed, what Peter needed, what the Apostle Paul needed, what I need, and what you need. It’s the love that we can build our lives on, that we can draw from without ever worrying about the depths of its supply. God’s love is big enough to carry me through every season of my life, regardless of my struggle. God’s love calls me to be a better person and provides the path and resource to see it through. God’s love assures me that one day all that is not love will be gone. That will be a very good day.
This Thanksgiving, be thankful for all the good things in your life. But take a moment and savor the love of God that permeates all of life and holds it all together, and give thanks. Because you are loved by the one that matters more than any other, and that will never change.
And check out Luke 23:33-43 and Colossians 1:1-14.
