Struggles Make Us Stronger?

I remember when football practice began for high school football. We would have two-a-days for two weeks or so before school got back in session. The first day, the whole team was filled with energy and expectation, ready to take on any challenge, be it a near-pro team like the Raiders, or an actual pro team like the Niners. Day two was a different story. Everyone was in agony as our bodies reacted to the previous day’s workout. The coaches would say over and over again – throughout the season, in fact – no pain, no gain. Is that really true? Beyond football’s grueling preseason workouts, when we face pain in life, does it really work for our gain? Looking back, have the hard times in your life made you stronger or weaker?

Michal had plenty of reasons to be bitter. In the Old Testament 1 Kings 6) is an interesting account about two people, a man and his wife, Michal and King David. The early part of their story is a fairy tale of sorts. Michal , the daughter of King Saul, absolutely loved David and wanted to marry him. King Saul was terribly jealous of David (one of his celebrated military men, among other things). Saul saw the marriage proposal as an opportunity to get David killed. But it didn’t work out that way. David prevailed. In a later attempt on David’s life, Michal helped David escape. After that, Saul gave his married daughter away to another man. Certainly not what she would have chosen. David moved on as well, finding marriage with other women, having children, growing in success. Michal was left behind until David finally demanded her return from her other husband. But it didn’t heal her pain. All of this became painfully obvious when David made a spectacle of himself in bringing the Ark of the Covenant back to Jerusalem. Instead of joining David in his joy, she ridiculed him and insulted him. Not stronger – still weak. Not better – bitter.

Everybody faces pain in life. We all have our reasons to play our personal violin as we recount our sob stories to each other. What song are you playing today?

David had plenty of reasons to be bitter, too. Michal may have been so blinded by David’s success that she failed to recognize his painful past. David’s life was filled with agony. Even though his was anointed to be the next King of Israel after Saul died, he was always in the middle of conflict, often running for his life. His good deeds and strong character were often rewarded with additional pain – no good deed goes unpunished, after all. And yet, in spite of all of his hardship, at that moment in history, he was so filled with joy that he made a fool of himself by human standards. What’s your level of joy currently?

What we do with our struggle makes the difference between a blessed life and a burdensome life, between becoming better or bitter, stronger or weaker.

Michal stayed in her bitterness, and her bitterness remained throughout her life. She chose to stay bitter, and lived in self-created isolation.

David, faced with the option to be bitter, chose a different route, and became better in spite of the reasons to remain bitter.

How did he get better instead of getting bitterer?

He processed it – which meant he wasn’t in denial. He wrote about it, sang about, prayed about it, and incorporated community with it. Check out Psalms 6, 10, 13, & 51 – this guy worked out his struggle with pen and paper. These poems/songs weren’t first drafts – they were carefully crafted – they took time and thought to create, and they helped David work out his pain into gain.

He did what he was good at –he was busy in his strengths – he didn’t simply sit around expecting different results from doing nothing. He went to help bring back the Ark. He also oversaw the sacrifices that were being made.

He kept God at the center of his life – he worshipped boldly. He was so into it that he took off most of his clothes so he could dance with greater freedom!

You have a choice to make regarding your struggle: to become stronger or weaker, better or bitter.

You also have a choice to make regarding those around you who struggle. You now have a resource they do not have. How are you going to love them so that they might also make a healthy choice toward health and growth?

May you have the courage to be honest about your struggle, and look to God for the strength to make the decisions that will lead to the best life possible in spite of your circumstances.

Process Questions…
Is the axiom, struggles make us stronger, a given, or is it a choice? Explain.

When have you struggled and found yourself stronger and healthier a chapter later? When have you struggled and found yourself less healthy than before? What was the difference between the two?

How did Michal respond to her struggles? How did David respond to his struggles? How did David respond to Michal struggles?

What principles from David and Michal can we use to help us through our own struggles? In what specific ways would we act differently if we employed a healthy response to struggles?

What struggles are you facing right now? What are you going to do differently this week to grow stronger through your struggle? What specific behaviors are you going to avoid, and what behaviors are you going to do this week when faced with your struggle?