In these final chapters, Max Lucado draws attention to a final source of anxiety: the fear of God getting out of my box. To illustrate this reality, Lucado references Jesus' transfiguration on the mountain top, when his appearance radically changed, and along with him appeared Moses and Elijah. The transfigured Christ is Christ in his purest form. It's also Christ as his truest self, wearing his pre-Bethlehem and post-resurrection wardrobe (Max Lucado, Fearless, Chapter 14). This experience settled for the disciples the question of whether or not life exists after we die, for sure, but it is obvious in the text that they were struck with awe at the sight of Jesus in this very different skin.
Lucado notes in chapter 14 of Fearless, Fire on the mountain led to fear on the mountain. A holy, healthy fear. Peter, James, and John experienced a fortifying terror, a stabilizing reverence of the one and only God. I have had close encounters with God many times. The first few times blew my mind. It's not that subsequent times are dull - they are exhilarating. These inbreakings from God happen differently for different people, but they all have a similar effect: awe. Reverence. Deep respect. The disciples experienced this that day on the mountain top.
Lucado challenges his readers at this point to examine themselves with this question: How long since you felt this fear? Since a fresh understanding of Christ has buckled your knees and emptied your lungs? Since a glimpse of him left you speechless and breathless? If it's been awhile, that explains your fears. When Christ is great, our fears are not (Fearless, Chapter 14). I love that last line because it speaks great truth. The more I open myself up to God, release myself to the Spirit, rest in the presence of the One Who is so much greater than I, the more peace I feel. The more I do this, the clearer my head is about my next steps, how I should deal with people, how I should respond, etc. It's like I am operating in the zone of God's Spirit, where my steps are willingly ordered by God. Confidence and peace soar at these times. The truth is, that can be the way life is all the time - in the zone - and is (I believe) largely related to what Jesus was referring when he said he can to bring abundant life.
For some people, knowing God exists is the big deal. In our culture, you can go through most of your life ignoring God, building your personal kingdom with your own skills in the freedom of our country. For God to be real, powerful, everywhere, yet right here is daunting. Just the idea of this reality can be terrifying, because it brings with it a host of other concerns. What kind of God is this? What if I haven't honored this God very well with my life? What will this God want from me? All of these questions and more can increase a person's desire to stop the pursuit, using all manner of excuses to justify their apparent indifference. But the question - and the fear - remains. If I am describing you, I want to assure you that this God is very real, very powerful, and very close. I want to assure you also that as you become more familiar with God, you will recognize choices in your past and behaviors and attitudes in your present that are incongruent with God and God's Way that is Life at its best. And I want to assure you that at the heart of God is grace abundant. God isn't interested in kicking your butt. God is very interested in a relationship with you that benefits not just you, but everyone, everywhere. This has been my experience. I hope it will become yours.
Trudy Brutsche is one such person. Check out her story here.
But what about those of us who have come to grips with God's existence? Do we box God in? If we do, why do we do it?
God has pushed through many boxes I have created for my faith. In the early days, God was "out there" somewhere - a good and kind being that was nice enough to give us a Bible, filled with neat stories and ethical principles. It was a good box. I enjoyed it for many years. As a grew older, however, I didn't pay a lot of attention to the box. It was just fine, there in the corner, collecting dust. I knew what was in it. Didn't need to open it. No fear involved, because I didn't think there was anything more than I already had in my box. Then I met someone who had a better box. The God in their box couldn't fit into my little box. But to give up my box for the next box was, in fact, very frightening. I remember feeling vulnerable, uncertain, wondering if I was making a mistake. Yet something compelled me to trust the call to a bigger God and a bigger box.
This has happened to me repeatedly ever since. New people come into my life with different boxes. I find myself having to continually make a new box because God keeps breaking out of the ones I've duct-taped five times over. A new box was required when I was introduced to just how real and big and powerful is the Holy Spirit. A new box was required when I went to seminary and learned so much more than I knew before about God. A new box was required when I pastored my first church in Illinois. A new box was required when I came out here over twelve years ago. A new box was required when I came to grips with the depths of my brokenness, and subsequently the infinitely greater resources of God's healing and grace. A new box was required when I was forced to act with grace - kind of an oxymoron, I know - and discovered a new facet of God. More recently, I have upgraded my box as I have gained my doctorate, and since then as I have been introduced to more scholars who have incredible insights into the Jesus we seek to follow and the God he came to represent.
There is a lot of cardboard in my wake.
Some of you may be thinking, I am so glad I am not Pete. Creating all those boxes sounds like a lot of work. I'll stick with the one I have.
That is your choice.
But I have to tell you that if I had to do it all over again, the only thing I would change is the pace at which I chucked my old boxes for new ones! The wonder and joy I have experienced has only grown deeper and richer with each risk to move from one box to one bigger.
Maybe you are afraid you will be disappointed in God. God is a tooth fairy for you right now, granting small wishes here and there. You may worry that the God you will discover is not satisfying. Take my word for it, that will not be the case. And if you don't trust me, read your Bible. Countless people have been so thoroughly satisfied with the God they continue to discover that they have invested their entire lives in the pursuit, and have willingly died proclaiming their belief, even when tortured.
Maybe you need to change the orientation of your fear. Perhaps you need to ask a different question which may rattle your bones. What if you get to the end of your days and only then realize that you could have experienced so much more Life, so much more Depth, so much more Impact on your world for the better, and so much less stupid strife and unnecessary pain and squandered resources?
May you be brutally honest with yourself about the box in which you have kept God. May you see it's smallness. May your heart hear the cry from heaven for freedom - that God would be free to be a much bigger God in your life, and that you would be free to live with that bigger God. Face your fears and lose the box. When Christ is great, our fears are not....
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