We are strange creatures. While talk shows on the radio, TV, and Internet are devoted to lambasting whoever their target might be for the day, I think we generally do not like having the mirror held in front of our faces. Can we dish it out but not take it?
When it comes to our faith, I think this is also true. From the beginning, humanity has not been fond of being told what to do, and typically changes course only when it no longer has any other choice. You can find this phenomenon in the Bible. Starting in Genesis. Extending through Revelation.
The reality is, however, that this tendency is lethal. Our desire to do our own thing restricts us from experiencing life at its best (as modeled and taught by Jesus), and sets us up for an estranged relationship with God because we realize that all of our waywardness is a departure from that which God would have us live. Technical word here: sin. When we come to grips with our junk, we begin to really wonder if God would take us back. We wonder about this because if we were repeatedly offended by someone we cared about deeply, at some point we might stop welcoming them back, right?
Does God really forgive and forget? Or should we fear God?
Now watch Nooma: Lump.
When we really come to grips with our very human tendency to go our own way, its painful. At that moment, we realize that we have caused ourselves great pain, have hurt people we care about and care about us, have caused harm even to people we don't know, and have messed with the good work God is doing in the world, which means we've kicked over God's sandcastle.
Usually, we avoid this realization by thinking of all the bad things other people do which we consider to be far more offensive than our own choices. In a recent episode of The Middle, the mom, Frankie, begins using the neighbor's brand new car without permission for days. The entire family starts enjoying it. Frankie deals with her guilt by saying, "people do meth." In other words, her sin hardly counts for anything in a world where people do far worse. Thank God for terrorists, then, huh - we'll always look good if they are in the picture...
We minimize our grievances. Sexual and material lust. Bitterness. Over indulgence. Unforgiveness. Apathy. Lethargy. Sloth. Immaturity. Gossip. Sloppy language. White lies. Bad attitude. Critical spirit. But enough about me... What do you struggle with?
The truth is all of the above are ours to own. And all of them - even the ones we think are so private, so benign - cause harm to ourselves, to others, and mess with the god God is doing in the world. We need to sit with this for awhile and let it sink in. This may require turning off the TV and computer and smart phone and... so that you can be still long enough to feel the sting.
I really think we are condemning ourselves to repeating all the stuff over and over until we wake up to the reality of where we are.
The beautiful thing about waking up is that your eyes are open. You are less likely to stub your toe or crash into things because you are seeing again. As we begin making amends with the people we've wounded, most of the time we will find forgiveness and grace. Sometimes we have caused so much pain, burned the bridge so thoroughly, that the most we can do is apologize - to push for their forgiveness may cause more harm than good - it becomes, again, about us instead of them. And when we finally get around to considering God's take on things, we discover a beautiful truth.
No matter what, God forgives and supports you in your restoration. No matter what. God was making this clear before Jesus, and Jesus' life and teaching simply gave it a face and hands and feet.
Opening ourselves up to the grace of God is the most powerful move we can make. It was (and is) for me. I find peace in God. I find strength to own my own junk with God. I find power to move forward in health with God. I find new insight and direction with God. I find it easier to forgive others with God. I find my true self with God. I find life with God. I find hope with God. I find love that doesn't evaporate with God.
Read up on Jesus' disciple, Peter. He knew this reality all too well. He completely rejected Jesus, and then found grace, and then went on to become one of the most key leaders in the history of the movement.
May you come to grips with your junk, your sin. May you sit in it's stench long enough to make you wanna puke. May you then turn to God and ask for grace and mercy and strength to move forward. May you seek restoration where you have caused destruction. May you find your true self with God and begin to live to your beautiful potential. May you help others do the same.
Extra Credit. You may find Psalm 51 particularly cathartic. This was a poem written by King David after he got busted for adultery. Read it slowly. See if his words can become yours. Let me know what happens.
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