When you sense God calling you to restore, restore. Nehemiah had a fine life. Fine food. Fine wine. Fine clothes. Fine vacations. Life was pretty fine as the highly trusted servant of Artaxerxes, ruler of the world's superpower at that time. But upon hearing word of his hometown Jerusalem's disrepair, something happened inside of him. Something bigger and more powerful than he could have imagined. It soon became clear to him that he was called by God to do something about it.
If we are paying any attention at all, we will have moments like this throughout our lives. This is God breaking in, inviting us to something more, better, whole. Most of the time, to pursue the renovation project in our lives, we will become really anxious and fearful to the point of not even beginning. But chances are that if you are sensing the need to change that strongly, the pain of not changing outweighs the pain of pursuing health.
Let's take low self-esteem as an example, which is often caused by some serious pain. We try to satisfy the emptiness, loneliness, and shame with all sorts of stuff: alcohol, drugs, food, sex, porn, staying too busy, exercise, etc. The irony is that we engage lots of pain-inducing behavior to help us deal with the pain that is at the root of our self-loathing. To heal that (or those) root causes requires facing down some serious, ugly voices inside our head. Very frightening stuff. The only thing worse than pursuing health is to remain the same and continue living in hell.
Take time to evaluate the problems. Once Nehemiah decided to move forward, he had to assess the wall he was going to restore. At the right time, in the right way, he investigated the wall. Too often we jump into fixing our respective walls without first taking the time to evaluate what we're dealing with. We may gain some ground right away, but find out later that we could have saved a lot of effort and energy if we had been more thoughtful about things.
For our low self-esteem issue, we might want to focus on a key behavior which stands out the most. But dealing with one behavior alone won't solve the root of the problem. We may think we're done when we stop eating so much, or tell somebody that they have really hurt our feelings, but this may be the tip of the iceberg. Taking time up front to evaluate the complexity of the stuff you are dealing with is really, really wise. Getting insight from those you trust is also incredibly helpful.
Expect external opposition to restoration. From the outset, Nehemiah encountered opposition from those who hated his people. At first it was just vocal stuff, but eventually the opposition threatened violence, and created a hostile environment which slowed the work on the wall considerably, and took a serious toll on morale, too.
You and I do not live in a vacuum. We live in systems that have "helped" us live our lives just the way we've been living them. When we do something new and unexpected, the system - which is people - generally react in opposition. When we start to restore broken places in our lives - like low self-esteem - we change for the healthier. When we change, we change a part of our system, and it will react to protect itself. We can hope for support from those around us, but don't be at all surprised if your good pursuit is met with resistance from surprising places. Pretty normal. Keep moving toward health.
Expect internal opposition to restoration. Nehemiah thought he had enough trouble with external opposition, and then he learned that he needed to deal with serious issues within. The wealthy among his people were not treating their fellow countrymen ethically, even if they were treating them legally. He had to face the internal stuff, too, if he wanted to restore the wall.
When we work toward restoration, we can expect problems from... ourselves! We discover that we are part of the reason why we have low self-esteem. It's not just outside voices who have encouraged us to feel like losers - we tell ourselves the same lie. Holding ourselves accountable is painful, difficult, and frustrating just like facing external opposition. But we must, if we hope to see the wall restored.
When the heat turns up, stay focused and keep moving forward. Nehemiah clearly held a Master's degree in cheer leading, because when pressure mounted from within and outside the wall, he just kept cheering people onward. Systems don't like to be broken. Not changing makes the system happy - everything goes back to normal. But normal stinks.
Expect to face incredible pressure when you answer God's call to pursue restoration. Expect to want to give up at multiple points in the process. Expect to feel exhausted in your pursuit. If you expect it, you won't be as surprised when it hits, and you'll be more likely to stay focused on your goal of becoming increasingly whole.
Celebrate milestones. The wall was functional after 52 days of hard work. It would take a couple more years to bring it up to code. But Nehemiah knew the importance of taking time to celebrate progress. They took a week off to reflect on how far they had come, to rest, party, restore their relationship with God, and renew relationship with each other.
When we relentlessly pursue our goals without ever taking pause, we fry. Regarding low self-esteem, we may find ourselves so fried that we lapse into self-destructive behavior we thought we'd left behind. We do this because we are designed to rest, not to go on and on and on without pause. In our creation story, God rests after working his tail off for seven days. So take a healthy break. Celebrate how far you've come. Thank God for the ground you've gained.
Continually pursue restoration. The story didn't end for Nehemiah after the celebration came to a close. Under his leadership, the wall continued to be fully restored, and many other social changes were enacted to protect from internal meltdown.
We are flawed human beings surrounded and shaped by other flawed human beings. The bad news is that this means we will always be in need of restoration of some sort. The good news is that as God highlights more areas that need to be addressed, or takes us deeper into restoration along the lines we've been working, God will be with us through it all. God is a restorer. God is a healer. God saves.
May you reflect on Nehemiah's journey and find direction and great comfort as you follow in his footsteps rebuilding the wall you are called to restore.
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