Break the Chains

Mack had a number of people to forgive in his life. His abusive father. His daughter’s murderer. Himself. God. Even though Mack was a fictional character, everybody can relate to his experience on some level, and be challenged to learn along with him. Mack struggle is the human struggle – learning to forgive those we believe are not worthy of forgiveness. Discovering that forgiveness isn’t simply about justice, but freedom – not simply for those we forgive, but perhaps more so, freedom for ourselves.
Eve was faced with the forgiveness issue – why didn’t Adam come to hear aid when she needed her companion most? Adam was faced with the forgiveness issue – why didn’t Eve simply listen to him – if she never would have accepted the fruit to even try, neither of them would have been tempted to take a bite. Both certainly felt duped after their indulgence, and must have been enraged at the tempter. I wonder if they needed to forgive that snake in the grass? Maybe they even got upset at God for creating such a rule in the first place – maybe they felt like God had wronged them – and therefore needed to forgive even God. Unfortunately, the pain didn’t end there – they would eventually go through the pain of losing a child to a horrible death. Their son, Cain, killed their other son, Abel. So many levels to forgive…

The fact is that every character in the Bible was faced with the issue of forgiveness on profound levels. Noah. Abraham. Isaac. Jacob. Leah. Rachel. Esau. Dinah. Simeon and Levi. Tamar. Joseph. Joseph’s brothers. The stories from the Bible’s first book, Genesis, involve people who lived through are the stories of all of us. Life isn’t a picnic. That is, unless you picnic in the Midwest, where you never know what the weather might bring (the old joke about Kansas weather: Don’t like it? Wait an hour, ‘cause it will change…).

Unfortunately, we human beings struggle to forgive. For lots of reasons…

• The person we may need to forgive doesn’t deserve it.
• The person we may need to forgive hasn’t confessed.
• The person we may need to forgive hasn’t asked for forgiveness.
• The person we may need to forgive knows they are guilty, but doesn’t care – they aren’t sorry.
• The person we may need to forgive did such a horrible thing – they deserve to go to the grave unforgiven – that’s justice.
• The person we need to forgive won’t get it because we’re not ready to forgive – someday we’ll be in a better frame of mind.
• The person we may need to forgive won’t get it because they are dead – what’s the point of forgiving someone who’s already dead?
• The person we may need to forgive won’t get it because it’s ourselves, and we know we aren’t worthy of being forgiven.

Our need for justice is, I think, our biggest hang up when it comes to forgiving. The person we see as the primary benefactor of forgiveness is also off the mark.

But here’s the thing: forgiveness is scandalous – it isn’t just – it’s unfair. And forgiveness really isn’t about the person who needs to be forgiven, it’s about the forgiver. We, as the one’s who hold on to forgiveness, are the ones who suffer – much more than those who have hurt us in some way. When we don’t forgive, we give power to all that isn’t life over our lives. We choose to wear pain and sadness and bitterness and rage when we choose not to forgive.

Jesus was teaching one day when a woman was literally tossed, naked, before him and the audience (John 8). She was caught in adultery – a set up, really, to trap Jesus. She was guilty, but she was a pawn. You’ve probably heard how the story ends. Jesus doesn’t condemn her, but forgives her. She would have another chapter to live. And Jesus would live free from the need to hold her in contempt by forgiving her right there on the spot. After all, if she would have been living right, she wouldn’t have been sleeping with that guy (where was he, anyway? Hmmm.). If she wouldn’t have been caught, his teaching wouldn’t have become a setting for a trap. Her sin negatively affected him – could have ended his ministry right then. Jesus could have been angry. But he chose to forgive.

Jesus, representing and embodying God, always chose to forgive. Why? Because life and unforgiveness don’t go together. And because bitterness and relationship don’t, either. If God wants the people he loves (all portions of humanity) to experience life, forgiveness has to happen. If God wants relationship with us, forgiveness has to happen. We’ve done plenty to mess with God. And God forgives endlessly. And so should we if we want to live, and if we want to live in relationship with the God who gave us life and breath. Forgive, because when we don’t, we choose to wear the chains, and our actions model chains as fashionable for all others to see.

Think…

1. What does forgiveness mean to you?
2. Who do you have a hard time forgiving? Why?
3. When have you really experienced being forgiven by another? What was it like? What did it do for you?
4. When have you forgiven someone in order to be free from the need to perpetually condemn? What did that do for you?
5. What if the person we need to forgive is dead, or dangerous? Does forgiveness need face time with the offender to count?
6. Why do you need God’s forgiveness? Don’t get churchy, here – seriously, why do we need it? (Note: We do need it, but I think we comfortably hide behind a theology of holiness that keeps us from really thinking this through and owning/experiencing this personally).
7. How does forgiving break our chains, others’ chains, and influence chain-breaking in others?
8. What steps are you going to take to pursue forgiving this week?

May you find joy and life and freedom and relationship and renewed faith and…

because you have chosen to forgive.