Blink For Jesus

In 1991, I took Lynne to my house for Christmas to meet my family. She learned things about me that she never could have apart from a family gathering. Aside from hearing stories about me being potty trained while watching Captain Kangaroo, and hitting my brother over the head with an A&W Rootbeer mug when he wouldn’t stop teasing me, she discovered something about the way I was formed.

Up until that trip, she knew me as a typical young guy in love with his fiancée: very affectionate, regardless of the context. Holding hands wherever we went. A hug here, a kiss there – the romance was hot! But during that Christmas vacation, things went as cold as the Michigan winter at my parent’s place.

I would hardly get near Lynne. Forget a hug or a kiss –she was lucky to hold my hand. For her, it was like a different person took over her husband-to-be.

You probably wonder what Lynne must have said or done to make me so cold. The reality is that she didn’t do anything. The change was the environment, which triggered different behavior in me.

My family of origin is a loving family. We all get along fine. We like and love each other most of the timeJ. But my family is not overly affectionate. My parents love each other, but they generally never showed each other much affection in front of us kids, save a goodnight kiss (which was a quick peck on the lips). So, as I was growing up in their household, a paradigm was formed about marriage, a worldview was shaped about how men and women should behave around other people: treat each other like acquaintances! When I was thrust into that environment, that paradigm switched on, and my behavior radically changed from what Lynne had been used to. Being non-affectionate in that context was as thoughtless as blinking. I was blinking my paradigm. Blinking for my parents – their influence had shaped me to the point of auto-response.

Paradigms are like that. These mental models we all have cause us to think and behave without our even thinking about it – like blinking. As they develop in us, so we develop in them – they are so much a part of us that we don’t even realize they are always running in our mental background. Helping us make sense of reality. Guiding our feelings. Influencing our actions.

Paradigms are so strong that if new, true information comes to us, it generally only sticks if our paradigms can make sense of it. Think of trying to explain an iPod to an early American settler – they just don’t have the mental schema to make sense of what you’re saying.

Jack Mezirow, one of the leading thinkers regarding adult transformational learning, has basically stated that unless we know what we know – our paradigms, our mental constructs, our shaped perspective – we will not likely know any different. Very little growth, very little change.

Most people like to think that they have reached a level of introspective maturity that they are no longer controlled by the paradigms they once held – they’ve grown beyond earlier constructs. Are we really so free? Is it really that easy to mature our way out of our given scripts?

Are you sexist?

Are you racist?

Rather than take your word for it, why not put your paradigm to the test concerning these two issues (and others, if you like). Go to http://www.implicit.harvard.edu/ and take a test or two. You may be surprised by your own preferences. These preferences may belie your stated paradigms.

Getting hold of our personal paradigms are absolutely critical in growing as persons, in relationship with others, in our relationship to our world, and our relationship with God. If you don’t, you sentence yourself to being held hostage to your own mental constructs.

Amadou Diallo lost his life unnecessarily because others didn’t pay attention to their paradigms.

Abbie Conant struggled for equal rights because a man did not come to grips with his bias against women.

Abraham, the father of three of the world’s largest faith systems, only became such because he acknowledged the limits of his faith and life paradigm, and allowed God to stretch him to new heights and depths.

Jacob wrestled with two competing worldviews – one which only promoted his personal well-being, and another which would lead to his and the world’s well-being. He recognized it, and enabled the latter have the victory.

Joseph, the above Jacob’s 11th son, faced down his limiting mental constructs concerning God and grace, and because he did, a family was restored and an entire nation was saved.

Nicodemus was pretty sure he knew the things of God until Jesus spoke in such different language that he spent the next few years breaking out of his mental prison into a newfound hope in the God Jesus was proclaiming.

The Apostle Paul had a major paradigm shift that changed his faith, the course of his life, and world history. He blinked different after he saw the light.

Paradigms matter that much.

How are you doing with your understanding of your personal paradigms?

Richer experiences of life, healthier relationships, and a greater sense of hope lie just around the bend. But to get there, you first have to begin recognizing your paradigm, that lens through which you interpret everything, that construct that causes you to make the split-second decisions that illumine your hard-wiring.

May you have the insight to realize that you have been shaped by a wide range of influences that you may not yet understand. May you have courage to come to grips with what grips you. May you grow to a place where you are more and more shaped by the Spirit of God so that you think and act more and more like the Christ who saved and saves you. May you, sooner than later, blink for Jesus.

If you'd like to learn more about "blinking," read the book: Blink, by Malcom Gladwell.

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